We all have a blueprint. We all have a story that we tell ourselves of how our life is supposed to be. Knowing our blueprints will tell us the formula of how we can become happier or how we can close the gap between the life we don’t want to have to the life that we want. Happiness equals progress. If we are not developing, if we are not growing we are dying… If you are in a relationship that isn’t developing – it’s dead. I mean, we don’t feel happy. If we are in a job that is not developing, we feel that we are dead. We were made to develop, that’s what I believe. At this moment I’m building a house but before I build the house I have to go to the architect to say:

“Can you do the draw of the house?”

And then he made the draw. Now I can see that the draw it’s matching the real house. So I’m really happy about that. I’m extra happy because it looks better than I imagined! But if I would ask him to make that drawing of the house and when I come inside the house, the house would collapse, I would be really angry and sad, okay? So, this means that the blueprint – the story of what I expect is matching the reality. I want you to write down: One area of your life that you feel fulfilled with. That’s like:

“Man, this area of my life it’s outstanding! It’s exactly the way I want!”

One area. It can be your relationship, job, career, finances, relationship with your kids… whatever! Maybe you’re thinking:

“[ __ ], my whole life is a [ __ ]! I don’t have anything good!”

But I know you have something that is a little bit better than other things. I would like you to choose one area of your life to write down… and why! Why do you think you are fulfilled in this area? So, one area that you’re happy fulfilled… and why! The “why” is important, okay? The area in my life that I appreciate now is____ The blueprint is the story. We all have a story about how our life is supposed to be and when we are not matching that story we get unhappy. So there are three ways we can close that gap.

Stop blaming – take responsibility

There was a time when I was always complaining. I was blaming my dad and complained about the government. I was saying:

“I’m an immigrant in Sweden.”

I’m this, I’m that. I was blaming everybody! So, the first step to start closing the gap to match our blueprint is that we need to eliminate the victim mindset. If I’m in a bad relationship and I’m blaming somebody… I need to look for what’s my fault in that. If I’m in a job that I don’t love. Okay, so what’s my fault for that? What can I do to move from this place to match my blueprint? I’ve been there so I remember I was complaining so much about being an immigrant, that I lost my energy complaining! And I could be doing something else! I was complaining! I’m like:

“I’m an immigrant, I’m this… blah blah blah!”

Until I said:

“I’m using my energy to complain.”

It doesn’t give me anything. We have to use our energy to take us to the place we want to go. So, that’s number one. One way to close the gap.


Another way is to give another meaning to the situation. It’s to re-frame. The second way is to reframe the situation. You can do like for example, my capoeira Master. He could not walk but he said:

“I’m not going to accept to lower my standard and be in a wheelchair forever. I’m gonna develop my way of walking.”

So, the second way is to reframe. You have to re-frame in your favor for the situation.

Become better

Number three is the best solution, in my opinion. It’s like we have to become better. If you need more focus in your life, if you need to create more clients, or if you want to change your job, you need to become better. Become a better seller, improve your marketing strategy, and work on yourself. Self-development it’s the art of becoming better. How much more we become better the more we can do what we want. So it’s about becoming.

  • What can I do to become a better coach?
  • What can I do to become a better speaker?
  • What can I do to become a better entrepreneur?
  • What can I do to become a better manager?

Becoming better. Developing our skills can close the gap between where you are and where you want to go. What victim or blaming mindset am I using that I can stop today to achieve what I want to achieve? What will you do to close the gap?